JUNE 11,2010 Lay it down :')

Its 10:33 pm. & my heart is palpating. this has been for a week. I feel so heavy, & i don't know how i can burst this thing out. Nobody wants to listen. or maybe i don't want anybody to know. Nobody cares to feel what i feel. nobody notices this heavy burden in my heart. Literally i am really palpating. :'( Oh well. I guess only myself cares to listen, & maybe God? Haaaaay. T_T school was good. super fun & exciting. but hey. something's really missing. I don't know why. I was browsing songs of Jaci Velasquez. & i found this one. Made me cry a lot. I have to lay this down to Jesus. God can heal a broken heart but He has to have all the pieces. T_T

I've been lookin' till my eyes are tired of lookin'

Listenin' till my ears are numb from listenin'

Prayin' till my knees are sore from kneelin' on the bedroom floor

I know that you know that my heart is achin'

I'm running out of tears and my will is breakin'

I don't think that I can carry the burden of it anymore

All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans,

Are slowly slippin' through my folded hands

So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do?
Cause everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go,
I'm gonna lay it down.

I've been walkin' through this world like I'm barely livin'
Buried in the doubt of this hole I've been diggin'
But You're pullin' me out
I'm finally breathin' in the open air
This room may be dark but I'm finally seein'
There's a new ray of hope, and now I'm believin'
That the past is past, and the future's beginning to look brighter now
Oh, cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

God is this really you? :'(